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Who am I now? – Your new identity in motherhood

“Losing myself [in motherhood] was my big thing – where had I gone, who was I now, why did nobody see me for who I was anymore?”

We’re shouting matrescence from the rooftops!

After starting the matrescence conversation in episode 4 of The Tough Mothers Podcast and TV, I had so many emails from mums saying they loved it and wanted to hear more about this topic (you can re-listen to the original matrescence episode HERE).

So, in today’s episode I bring you the matrescence marvel Linda Anderson. Linda is a life coach whose focus is on mothers during their matrescence transition, including their identity in motherhood. She is as obsessed with matrescence as I am, so together we are going to shout it from the rooftops!

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother
– is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through. We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.

Becoming a mother is an exciting time!
So much happens to us as women – some things we are prepared for, but most things we are not.

Matrescence is a time of great change. Sadly, we are still not speaking about this transformation as often and openly as we should. Consequently, women are caught off-guard by motherhood. They feel there is something wrong with them, when really it is just matrescence.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ What matrescence is, and how it is viewed in society.
  • ✓  Answer the question: who am I now I am a mother?
  • ✓  Why we must talk about matrescence openly with mums before they have their baby.
  • ✓  The things you must know to navigate the split that comes with matrescence

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

Who am I now? – Your new identity in motherhood Youtube
The important take-aways from this episode are:
  • Matrescence happens to every woman when she becomes a mother. Yet, because we are all unique – biologically, physiologically and psychologically (just to name a few) – our experiences of matrescence are unique  Podcast [3.30], TV [3.00]

“I thought it was just me. I thought there was something wrong with me”

  • It is important to normalize the conversation around matrescence. It needs to become part of our everyday conversation. Not just for mothers, but every person should know what matrescence is. So, we can better support women as they become mothers  Podcast [5.38], TV [5.08]
  • Society tells us to “suck it up”. Just carry on like you did before, but now with a baby. Yet we are transformed.
    It’s like we have been denied the transition
     Podcast [7.15], TV [6.45]

We are setting women up with this false expectation of what motherhood is and what it will be.

  • Matrescence is similar to adolescence in its transformation. However, unlike adolescence, matrescence is not finite. It is an evolution within us  Podcast [6.56], TV [6.26]

“The world is letting us down: we need to speak about this massive experience”

  • The motherhood split!
    There is a feeling of being split in two when we become mothers – one half has gone into motherhood and the other half is the pre-baby us.
    This split feeling can carry on through life.
    Linda shares tips on how to deal with this split and relieve the disconnect and yearning of the “old me”
     Podcast [12.48], TV [12.18]
  • How to embrace our new life, and let it be what it is. The importance of striving for doing rather than doing it perfectly  Podcast [15.35], TV [15.05]
  • Matrescence is a real thing!
    Women need to be educated so they know about matrescence and don’t feel like they are alone in their experiences 
    Podcast [18.30], TV [18.00]

Knowing about matrescence offers women a language to express themselves

  • Why are we not talking about matrescence?
    What might be different in our life, and our experience as a mother, if we had the knowledge of matrescence before we have our babies?
     Podcast [19.38], TV [19.08]
  • Linda shares her tips on how to best prepare yourself for matrescence. (Make sure you also check out the links to Linda’s blog in MENTIONS IN THIS EPISODE for more tips)  Podcast [19.38], TV [19.08].23.50

“If you are struggling, don’t silence it. There is nothing wrong with you, please just reach out!”

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉


Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .


Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

1. Order Dr Jen’s book: I Wish Someone Had Told Me – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood

2. Watch or listen to the original episode on matrescence that sparked this conversation here

3. Find out more about Linda Anderson aka Linda On The Go

4. Read Linda’s blog about matrescence for more tips here

Linda Anderson

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

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