Jennifer Pearson | Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson PhD

Episode #4: Why you must know what matrescence is

by Jennifer Pearson | Sep 23, 2020 | Childbirth, Maternity, Matrescence, Selfcare

I felt a shift in myself both times after I had my first two babies. It was like I was going through some sort of transition and transformation – both of which I was desperately trying to resist.

I liked myself, I liked my life, I didn’t want to change. I just wanted to be the old me, but with a baby (or two).

I carried on mothering, but I was not content. I was a little lost, and a little confused about what had happened to me. But I carried on – because I am a mother and that’s what we do.

You can’t outrun the motherhood transition.
My third baby, however, pulled the rug out from under me. Well, not literally of course, because obviously she was a baby! But when she came along, the changes in me where profound. Again, I tried to resist them, but this time I couldn’t stick my head in the sand.

The developmental transition was too great!

So, I ended up in a long battle with probably postnatal anxiety / postpartum anxiety (I say “probably” because I was never officially diagnosed). Until I realised, try as you might, you can’t outrun the transition and transformation of motherhood.

And that transition has a name: Matrescence

Every woman goes through the transition of matrescence when she becomes a mother.

Including Laura, who sent me this question for Q&A Wednesday:

I had my baby 6 months ago. She’s gorgeous and I love her. Motherhood is tough but she makes it worthwhile. I knew that things change when you have a baby, but I didn’t realise how much I would change. I’m not depressed, I just find myself missing my old life, not so much one without my baby, but I miss the old me. I feel embarrassed to talk about it because I really do love my daughter very much, and I don’t want people to think I am ungrateful. I just want the internal feeling of pre-baby me back.

– Laura

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play below and watch the full episode on YouTube.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

What is matrescence? Podcast [2.42], TV [2.12]

Matrescence is a word that not many people have heard of, but every parent must know. Because every mother goes through matrescence.

Matrescence is the transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother – physically, psychologically, emotionally, socially, spiritually…

What happens during matrescence – why do we not know about matrescence? Podcast [3.30], TV [3.00]

We don’t know about matrescence until it happens to us, because we don’t talk about it.

But we must. We must talk about it, especially to all pregnant women.

We are changed after having a baby – women are literally transformed after childbirth.

Is it normal to wonder what is going on with you after you’ve had a baby? Podcast [3.42], TV [3.12]Laura is not alone in feeling lost in motherhood. It is common to feel you have lost your identity.
We ask ourselves who am I?

Where did I go?

Is this it?

Why we must focus on the mother after childbirth Podcast [5.18], TV [4.48]

The transition of matrescence is so phenomenal. Yet, after childbirth the focus shifts from the woman to the baby. Right when the mother needs the most support…

When a baby is born, so is a mother!

Find yourself in matrescence – How to use matrescence as a catalyst to create an amazing motherhood life for yourself

We must be prepared for this personal transformation. We must create a plan, specific to us, for matrescence. Just like we do a birth plan. Because like birth, the postnatal period is a time of tremendous change.

LEARN HOW

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

What is Q&A Wednesday

I love that I get a lot of questions from mums and dads through email or on social media. Not only because I love answering them, but also because I love to support you and know what it is you would like to know.

In my experience a question that is asked by one mum is usually also a query by another mum. Which is why I created Q&A Wednesday – to share the answers (and you remain anonymous).

If you have any questions please comment below, or EMAIL ME.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

JOIN US

Links mentioned in the episode

Our wonderful Tough Mothers Facebook group
https://www.facebook.com/TheMotherMentor

Dana Raphael – The Tender Gift : Breastfeeding
Book available on Amazon

Tough Mothers courses
https://www.ToughMothers.com/courses

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie
In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Episode #3: How to nourish yourself after having your baby

by Jennifer Pearson | Sep 13, 2020 | Brain health, Matrescence, Motherhood, Neuroplasticity, Selfcare, Tough Mothers, Truth

“We live in a society where our self-worth has become defined by what we look like”

Hands up if you want lose baby weight?
Or any weight for that matter?
Most mothers focus on bouncing back to their pre-baby weight or figure, at some stage after they have had a baby. But is this the right approach?

Internationally-recognised dietitian Rachael Wilson joins me in this episode to talk about how our bodies change when we have a baby, how we can learn to embrace our new figures, and how we should nourish ourselves to achieve optimum physical and mental health, not just to lose baby weight, but for a healthy motherhood life.

Rachael believes that we should throw out all the scales and measuring units, and instead focus on nourishing ourselves in a kind way – which leads to far better results.

How do you do this?

Rachael shares with us her tips to achieve this, and create a whole new, far better, relationship with our post-baby body.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

✓ How to nourish yourself in a kind and caring way
✓ The importance of self-compassion and accepting your new body
✓ Why real health comes from the inside and how to access it
✓ Intuitive and mindful eating for your own individual genetic makeup

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

The important take-aways from this episode are:

Statistics show 8 out 10 women feel bad about their bodies

You’ve carried a child, you’ve created a life! Your body will change Podcast [5.30], TV [5.00]

This is a major part of matrescence and the transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother.

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through. We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

We must let go of the perception of being the perfect mother and having the perfect body. It is not real! Podcast [7.10], TV [6.40]

In this day and age when we don’t have a village to support us like we used to. We try to do it all, and it is just not possible to do everything “perfectly”.

“Children need to see us being imperfect, because life isn’t perfect”

Rachael’s tips for nourishing yourself after having your baby Podcast [8.50], TV [8.20]

Acknowledge the change is normal
Self-acceptance
Mindful self-compassion (check out Rachael’s guided mindful body self-compassion audio practice in the Mentions In This Episode at the bottom of this article)

Studies have shown DIETING DOES NOT WORK! Podcast [10.55], TV [10.25]

Find out what you must do instead to have positive outcomes for our physical and mental wellbeing.

“There is so much focus on getting our bodies “back”, there should also be more focus on the mind during the postpartum period”

We need to re-train our brain to achieve optimum physical and mental health Podcast [13.26], TV [12.56]

TIP: Don’t focus on the negative, but ask yourself: what can I do for myself in this moment to make myself feel better.

Gratitude is important in rewiring our brain, to lead to more fulfillment Podcast [18.40], TV [18.10]

It is also important to change our thinking around situations. Instead of saying ‘I look fat in my bathing suit’, saying ‘I give myself and my body the gift of swimming in the sea’ has a much more beneficial effect on our brain.

Start rewiring your brain
Exercise: List 3 things you are grateful for about your body

Research shows, it is our health behaviours that make us healthy, not the numbers on the scales Podcast [23.40], TV [23.10]

Do you have the right behaviours that are healthy for you?

In motherhood, preparation is key for when hunger suddenly shows up Podcast [30.20], TV [29.50]

Rachael is kindly giving us access to her E-Book to help mums with this, for FREE. You can download it in Mentions In This Episode at the bottom of this article. Did I mention she is us giving to us for FREE?

I loved this interview with Rachael!
Her unique way to lose baby weight, no matter how long since you have had your baby, will no doubt benefit many mothers.

Let me know in the comments what you think. And if you have tried it, let me know how it worked for you.
It certainly made me re-evaluate my eating behaviours.

My KEY TAKEAWAY (no pun intended) FROM THIS EPISODE:
We must be kind and compassionate to ourselves – when we are kind to ourselves, our relationship with our bodies, and subsequently with food, is much better.