Episode #14: How to support your teenager’s mental health

Episode #14: How to support your teenager’s mental health

For information, tips and support in motherhood follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

“You have to keep yourself well in order to keep them well.”

Warning: this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV mentions self-harm and suicide attempts. If you require help, PLEASE see your GP or the list of services at the bottom of this article.

 When Melanie Medland  found her type A-personality teenage daughter suddenly couldn’t cope with life, she was naturally alarmed. Melanie’s daughter, who was always very capable,  suddenly withdrew, had trouble sleeping, forgot things and her eating patterns changed. Not having come across this before Melanie was questioning if this was just part of normal adolescence, but in her gut she knew. Her daughter was very unwell.

 In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV, Meanie takes us into her family’s difficult time: how her daughter’s anxiety and depression made Melanie question herself and her parenting, how Melanie found her strength and the language to speak to her teenage daughter, and how she uses the enormous amount of hard won experience and knowledge she gained while successfully nurturing her daughter through her illness, to support and coach parents who are facing similar battles.  

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit the play button below and watch the full episode on YouTube.

Key takeaways from this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV:

♥   Speak to people about your experience in parenting, even if you feel they will judge you as a mother. Chances are they have a similar experience to you.

   Many parents experience mental health issues with their teenager, and have the same fears.

   To effectively parent, you must tap into your motherhood intuition and trust yourself.

   There is a transition in motherhood when our children become teenagers. It is part of matrescence*.

   Mental and physical health needs to be nurtured equally. 

Matrescence is a developmental transition women go through when we become mothers. It is all encompassing – physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. Matrescence transforms us, that is why we feel different when we become mothers.

In this episode [podcast, TV]:
[3.37, 3.40]

Teenager’s mental health can lead to parents losing confidence in themselves. It is imperative we speak to other parents of teenagers.

We feel we are alone in our struggles but speaking to other parents we realise we are not. And it allows them to feel they’re not alone also.

“That whole mental health stigma comes up [when you shy away from speaking to other parents]- will they be judging my child and me as a bad parent?”

[5.33, 3.40]

How to know if your teenager is suffering from anxiety and depression, or if it’s just normal teenage behaviour. Melanie also revisits this, in detail, later in the program [30.20, 3.40].

Melanie’s daughter’s symptoms:
Pains attack
Anxiety
Depression
Self-harm
Suicidal ideation

“You know your child. Trust yourself.”

[7.45, 3.40]
Challenges of the transition for mothers through matrescence – from soothing their kids’ scuffed knees, to suspecting something might be mentally troubling them. As our children grow and change, we grow and change. This is also part of matrescence, just a different phase.

[10.00, 3.40]
The importance of finding people who understand you because they’ve been through it with their child or are going through it themselves.

[13.06, 3.40]
Our generation are the one who need to bring mental health chats into parenting. No generation before us ever did, so we don’t have any models in place about how to chat to our children about mental health. WE need to create these models.

“It’s important to play the love card.”

[16.00, 3.40]
Melanie’s amazing and innovative ways of helping teenagers with mental health issues, which she implemented successfully to help her daughter get better.

[20.00, 3.40]
One of the most important things to help your teenager is to keep the channels of communication open. Be their support person first, their mother second.

“It is her journey. It is not my journey”

[23.45, 3.40]
As mothers our selfcare is absolutely paramount.

“You have to keep yourself well in order to keep them well”

[25.59, 3.40]

There is support for parents who are going through mental health issues with their teenagers.

Melanie shares the proven techniques of how to connect with your teenager and how to ask those tough questions

“Mental health and physical health need the same nurturing”

Download Melanie’s FREE resource Self harm: what you need to know to help your teen

Mentions in this episode:

♥   Tough Mothers courses implement a three-step framework to:

1) help mothers understand how motherhood changes their brain
2) how to strengthen their brain by training it to thrive in motherhood.
3) Teach simple, specific exercises mothers can fit into their busy day to train their brain to thrive in motherhood

♥   Moving Through with Melanie

Moving Through is a personal response to Melanie’s eldest daughter’s battle with anxiety and depression in 2018. Melanie spent 6 months nursing her through her illness successfully and now Melanie has an enormous amount of hard-won experience and knowledge to share with other parents who are facing similar battles.

Melanie is passionate about changing the conversations around mental health, especially anxiety and depression, and would like to see mental health issues discussed openly with no shame or judgement attached to them.

Teenagers are at an age and stage of their lives where they need lots of support. It can be incredibly tough to be 100% present and available for them. Unfortunately, too many teens are falling through the cracks of our health system and parents and families are struggling to support them as they transition from childhood to becoming young adults in our society.

We have all heard the saying ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ and I believe this has never been more important. Today’s teens are facing issues we would never have dreamt of as we were growing up. The structure of families is changing, and we all need to be prepared to step in and help out with raising teenagers that will be able to contribute to our collective futures in a healthy and productive way.

You can find out more about Melanie and Moving Through at www.movingthrough.net or on Facebook

Who is one person that would benefit from the information in this episode?

Forward it to them! There are icons at the top of this page to make that really easy.

Check out the Tough Mothers Library for more episodes

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN!

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, and you can win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

You are not alone!

Get amazing motherhood support in our private Facebook village. We would love to have you there.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?
Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Episode #13: Finding a silver lining in your postpartum experience

Episode #13: Finding a silver lining in your postpartum experience

For information, tips and support in motherhood follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

“Even when I was in the depths of my unwellness I would say to myself: something good is going to come from this. Something beautiful is going to come from this. And it did.”

Your postpartum (or postnatal, depending on where you live) experience will be unique. I say that because when you enter motherhood, or matrescence*, you enter it as your unique self, with your unique biological make-up, your unique previous experiences, your unique neuroscience.
So, you won’t know how postpartum will be for you, until you are in it.

Yes, sometimes there are neurobiological predictors, but often women are surprised when they enter their 4th trimester.

*Matrescence is a developmental transition women go through when we become mothers. It is all encompassing – physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. Matrescence transforms us, that is why we feel different when we become mothers.

Katie R. was one of these mums. Katie felt a bit down during pregnancy and was worried about postnatal depression. However, what her 4th trimester brought was the exact opposite. Katie was up, not down!

Because Katie experienced bipolar symptoms, and not stock-standard depression or anxiety it took some time for her to get the help she needed.

Today Katie bravely shares with us her postpartum mania experience, and how she found her silver lining by going within herself and bringing out the best in herself. She intuitively turned her postpartum mental health experience, something that society deems terrible and “negative”, into a blessing for herself.

“It’s up to me, I can choose if I’m a victim or I can choose if I’m a survivor”

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit the play button below and watch the full episode on YouTube.

Key takeaways from this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV:

♥   Depression and anxiety are not the only things we must look out for in postpartum mothers.

   You will know if you don’t feel OK, and you must speak up!

   Your postpartum experience does not need to shape the rest of your life.

   Sometimes wonderful things come from our darkest experiences.

   Mental health is something that affects everyone. There is no shame in it.

Matrescence is a time of great change. You will feel different. It is important to keep an eye out whether your feelings are different to what you would expect for you.

In this episode [podcast, TV]:

[3.00, 2.30]
Katie’s explanation of how she felt different is magnificant. She found that everyone, including postpartum support, family and ourselves, keep an eye out for symptoms of depression and anxiety. But there are other things we must look out for.

Symptoms for postpartum mania include irritability, racing thoughts, decreased sleep, overactivity and grandiose ideas (just to name a few).

Can you see how these can also be viewed as normal in motherhood?

So, it is really important to tune into yourself to see if it feels normal, or not, for you.

[14.25, 13.55]
Katie shares beautifully, and in detail, how postnatal mania feels – the positives and the negatives – and how her postpartum bipolar experience escalated for her, leading to her worst fears coming true!

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms or just don’t feel right in your postpartum journey, please reach out. There are links to services around the world at the bottom of this article.

[21.50, 21.20]
When Katie was diagnosed with postpartum bipolar, she was told what it might be like and what her limitations might be. She asked herself: “am I going to accept that or is there something else I can look into and reclaim for myself?”

Her mind and her language were an integral part in this.

“The words I AM are so powerful. I don’t say I am bipolar. I say I live with bipolar.”

[25.20, 24.50]
Katie shares her tips for mums who are experiencing postnatal bipolar and encourages everyone to share their story.

“Mental health is normal. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Mental health affects all different people from all walks of life.”

“Give your mental health, as much weight as your physical health.
Because it is just as important, if not more”

Who is one person that would benefit from the information in this episode?

Forward it to them! There are icons at the top of this page to make that really easy.

Mentions in this episode:

♥   Katie’s beautiful poem:

Baby cries
And so will I
It is a way of saying
I have a need
I just don’t have words right now
I am trying to treat myself like a newborn
Gently, kindly
With care. With care.

   You can find out more about Katie and read her amazing poetry at www.compassionpoetry.co.nz and on Instagram

Check out the Tough Mothers Library for more episodes

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN!

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, and you can win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

You are not alone!

Get amazing motherhood support in our private Facebook village. We would love to have you there.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?
Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Episode #12: Mastering Yourself In Motherhood

Episode #12: Mastering Yourself In Motherhood

mastering yourself in motherhood

“It’s your journey. Do it your way.”

Motherhood is tough. Every woman will agree that motherhood, at some point, will throw you some curve balls. There is no right way to do motherhood, you just have to do it your way.

In this episode I have the absolute pleasure of speaking with Tracy Newell, affectionately known as Gwamma. Tracy is a mother of 5 and a grandma, hence the nickname. Today she kindly and very deeply shares her journey through motherhood, and her wisdom of how she mastered herself in motherhood following multiple miscarriages, fertility challenges and very dark times.

After listening to this conversation, you will understand why you need to find your unique way to master yourself in motherhood. Tracy’s tips will no doubt help you along the way.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ How to use your challenges to drive positive change in your life.
  • ✓  The grief of losing a child never ends, it just changes.
  • ✓  There is no roadmap to motherhood, but you will find your own way.
  • ✓  How not to lose yourself in motherhood.

For information, tips and support follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

When your mind is not your own – one mother bravely shares her experience with postpartum psychosis
The important take-aways from this episode are:
  • You can fall pregnant when you are breastfeeding. Let’s throw out this old wives’ tale once and for all!
  • Sometimes the medication you get to stop your breastmilk doesn’t work. This was the case for Tracy who was given medication, such as Cabergoline (Dostinex®), to stop her milk supply after her miscarriages Podcast [14.50], TV [14.20]
  • You do not have to take antidepressants! You can if you want to, but do not feel you have to. You have to process your journey your way and choose what is right for you Podcast [16.10], TV [15.40]

“Don’t discriminate others because they make a different choice. There is no right way. You must choose what is best for you.”

  • People will always give you their opinion, judge you and give you their advice when you are a mother, pregnant or trying to conceive. You don’t need to take people’s advice.

“Trust your gut! Listen to your gut.”

  • Tracy’s tips for coping during her dark times, and how she came out the other side. These are amazing! You can use them immediately Podcast [25.20], TV [24.50]
  • Natural ways to conceive – Tracy was given these tips and they worked!!!! Podcast [28.20], TV [27.50]

Photo in the heading is proof 😉. One of Tracy’s favourite photos ever.

  • Tracy’s tips for mastering yourself in motherhood Podcast [32.30], TV [32.00]

There are more tips on Tough Mothers Instagram and Facebook .

“It’s important to work on mastering yourself in motherhood because if you are well, your baby is well. Motherhood brings out something different in all of us, yet we don’t know what that is until we have our baby.”

You are not alone in mastering yourself in motherhood.
For professional support in your transition into, and through, motherhood, visit www.ToughMothers.com/courses.

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

About our guest:
Tracy Newell aka Gwamma, is an extraordinary mum of 5 and a grandmother (hence the nickname ). Tracy’s motherhood journey has been anything but smooth. Yet she has taken her challenges and used them to grow as a woman, not just a mother.

From her tough times she became a successful business owner. Tracy started Gwamma to make natural products for our babies. 100% New Zealand grown is the only wool that is used in any of Gwamma’s knitted creations.

Quilts boast either cotton, bamboo or woollen batting and either cotton or linen fabrics.
Having been the supportive wife of a sheep and beef farmer all her married life Gwamma knows how important natural fibres are against the skin. Please check out Tracy’s products at www.gwamma.co.nz and Facebook https://www.facebook.com/gwammas.

 Tracy, aka Gwamma, with her husband and three daughters on her middle daughter’s wedding day.

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?

Episode #11: When birth goes off the rails – “I Wish Someone Had Told Me…”

Episode #11: When birth goes off the rails – “I Wish Someone Had Told Me…”

When childbirth goes off the rails: "I wish someone had told me..."

“My baby would have died. We both would have died”

Yay, 2020 is almost done!

Pat yourself on the back. Go on, please do it!
We have achieved an incredible task – parenting through a pandemic. Not that it is all over, but I think we need to celebrate what we have achieved so far. Which is nothing short of amazing! ❤️

Personally, it has been one of the most challenging years of motherhood. And at the same time, one of the most rewarding. My kids and I pushed each other’s buttons, yet connected on a newer, deeper level. Like with all people, when you go through something as lifechanging as a pandemic together, your relationship is changed forever.

What a year!

The end of this year also marks my 10-year anniversary of being a mum.
Today 10 years ago my eldest baby made his spectacular entry into the world (that’s him in the header picture. Just a couple of hours old). And it really was spectacular in every sense of the word. We were not prepared for anything that happened during his “unconventional” birth.

In honour of all the amazing mums who have shared their journeys and experiences on The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV this year, I would like to share with you his birth story in this episode  The unconventional, unexpected, unheard-of birth that started my journey to write I Wish Someone Had Told Me – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood.
Because “I Wish Someone Had Told Me…” were literally the first words I uttered after my big boy was born – I’m talking 4.2kg big!

But first a little gift for you

WANT TO KNOW THE TOP 7 THINGS FROM THE BOOK MUMS WISH THEY KNEW BEFORE HAVING THEIR BABY?

To hear the full episode, simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

When your mind is not your own – one mother bravely shares her experience with postpartum psychosis

MY CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU

Apply coupon code PODCAST at checkout to receive 20% OFF your signed copy of I Wish Someone Had Told Me…

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ Childbirth does not always go the way you plan
  • ✓  Trust your yourself – you know what your body and your baby need
  • ✓  Be flexible with your birth plan; do what is best for you and your baby.
  • ✓  You are not alone! Many mums utter the words I Wish Someone Had Told Me… during childbirth and motherhood

I hope you have the most amazing holiday period with your loved ones. I wish you much peace, good health and calm.

Please remember, you are braver than you think, you are more resilient than you know, and you are tougher than you believe.

See you in 2021.

Love,

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it!

Many mums come here to find support, and your experience could help them.

Who is one person that would benefit from hearing this episode?
 

Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article. 

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all your motherhood support at our FREE online village.

Mentions In This Episode

Learn more about the Tough Mothers courses to prepare yourself for motherhood HERE

Purchase I Wish Someone Had Told Me – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood today and get 20% off.
Simply enter PODCAST in the coupon code at checkout.

 

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?

Episode #10: Finding Your Voice In Motherhood

Episode #10: Finding Your Voice In Motherhood

When your mind is not your own – one mother bravely shares her experience with postpartum psychosis

“I thought my children wouldn’t change my life very much…”

When Kate Ryan, a successful business woman, became pregnant for the first time, she thought once her twins were born her life wouldn’t change very much. Kate is the first to admit, this is definitely not the case.

In this episode, Kate tells us about her surprise of learning she was having twins, how bringing her babies home changed her life, and how becoming a mother changed her.

Kate very beautifully shares her experience of transitioning into motherhood (a transition all mothers can relate to) and how through her challenges she found her voice as a mum and a woman.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ You are not alone if you feel you don’t know what you are doing in motherhood.
  • ✓  The importance of trust in yourself and others.
  • ✓  Simple, actionable steps to help with overwhelm during the transition into motherhood.
  • ✓  About your own rebirth when you have a baby.
  • ✓  Advice for new twin mums and mums expecting twins.

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

When your mind is not your own – one mother bravely shares her experience with postpartum psychosis
The important take-aways from this episode are:
  • Nobody knows what they are doing when they first have a baby. It can be challenging. But there are ways that you can prepare yourself. It is important to make preparing yourself a priority. This includes learning how to speak up for yourself and your baby Podcast [12.15], TV [11.45]

The Tough Mothers courses specialise in preparing women for motherhood.

  • Thinking what it will be like having your baby at home and actually having baby at home, are two different things. And that is OK. While women often feel that they don’t know anything about babies and motherhood, nothing could be further from the truth Podcast [13.00], TV [12.30]

“All we need to know is inside ourselves, we just haven’t tapped into it yet”

  • The transition to becoming a mother is huge! You can get overwhelmed by the enormity of it. You will ask yourself: how can I do this? But you will do it. Podcast [16.35], TV [16.05]

In today’s episode you will learn simple, actionable steps to handle the overwhelm of bringing your baby home.
These can also be used throughout motherhood.

“Inch by inch, life’s a cinch; yard, by yard, life’s too hard – John Bytheway”

  • There is a common downfall amongst mothers, that Kate experienced too. Thinking: I am the only person that can care for my baby Podcast [18.13], TV [17.43]

Learn why this is a dangerous mindset, how you can break this thinking, and what you will gain when you let others help care for your baby.

  • When you have a baby, you are instantly different. You become a different person, your priorities change, everything changes Podcast [21.00], TV [20.30]

“I realize that having children can change your life – and that’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing!”

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through. We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

  • When a baby is born, a mother is born– “it’s me, but it’s a new me” Podcast [21.00], TV [20.30]

“Having a baby is really like a rebirth!”

  • The two main things Kate would do, and prioritise, if she had her newborn time again Podcast [25.15], TV [24.45].

“Trust your intuition, trust the people around you, and trust yourself to advocate for yourself and your children, because they can’t advocate for themselves.”

  • Kate’s tips for new twin mums or women expecting twins Podcast [35.00], TV [34.30]

“My children helped me find my voice” 

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

  • Learn more about the Tough Mothers courses to prepare yourself for motherhood HERE


About our guest:

Kate Ryan is a family photographer based in the Waikato in New Zealand. She loves to celebrate the joy, connection and “right now” moments of family life. As well as stopping time for a moment in beautiful family photos, she also helps parents tell the story of their family through their own everyday photos, and shows them how to create a living heirloom for their families, build on their family connection and use this process to be present and mindful in the moments that matter. Kate’s signature course, Memory Vault, will show you how.

Check it out at www.ryansdaughterphotography.co.nz or find Kate on Facebook and Instagram

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?